fish out of water

That's what I am. Water is my life source, I can't live without it. The only rain we get around here is, well...Rain. KJ and JJoppo left for "The Beach" today. I'm looking for places in Chatanooga to stay, but that doesn't really matter since--

1. I'm flat broke, spare $24. 62
2. $24.62 will get us half a tank of gas?
3. The economy sucks.
4. Working people don't get off very often
5. I can't drive.

This conclusion stops at "Hello $17 worth of Movie Gallery"

11:11

Ah, the special wishes of 11:11, do they ever work? Are they just suspended in time with millions of other people's wishes? I believe that they come true. Tonight has been a very much needed night. We have a full party at GenerationSwap's house: GS, N/A, N/A's daughter and Grandaughter, my Cousin, and I. It's like a really big girl's night!

Breathe

I'm spending the night with GenerationSwap Thursday night. I don't do that very much anymore, i wish i did, but i don't, and i don't know why. i don't do alot of the things that i used to do anymore, some good, and other's bad. I feel like....like I can't walk. Do you ever get those feelings? And it's one of those things that you can't explain, and you don't know why. I'm wiping my slate clean after tomorrow night, and it's gonna be so hard, it's going to be a very long journey, but i need this journey, and i'm so beyond ready to start it. I'm letting go, but I'm also gaining in a few areas of my life. Those who are close to me know why, but for the rest....:) it's a surprise.

:S

i can already tell that this week is going to be a tough one. She keeps calling, and I haven't told her yet, because i've got so much going on. And i really do want to continue being friends with her, but she'd have to change, and i don't like to change people. so....it can't be..... or i could just tell her that "I want to take a break from our friendship. I need to figure some things out."

To A Happier Subject;;;;;

Friday night, JJoppo and I spent the night at KJoppo's house. I love those little days when we're just laughing about stupid little things until 4 am, and then getting up at 8. Keeping those little days in my head is what cheers me up at these tough decisions. And then there's the whole


JJoppo looks over at me from hearing me smacking a little too loudly on a pizza crust, and looks at the clock on her phone. "It's 3:27 in the MORNING! Do you EVER stop munching?! How do you EAT so MUCH?! And stay so thin?! Grrrr!"

You have to love those two, even if you don't know them, I have a feeling you will through stories. Lots, and Lots of Stories.

2 missed calls and an invitation to spend the night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGmrL2h8lrE

There is this "friend" that i have. Not that i can really call her that anymore. since--

She constantly makes fun of me

Finds pleasure in making me cry

Never sticks up for me when someone hurts me

Uses me

You ask why i put up with this?

I care about people too much sometimes

But no more!

I'm a strong person, i don't let people walk all over me, but i try to keep my very opinionated mouth closed to keep me out of trouble, but this is too far. Best Friends...Sisters..."Besties" they don't do that, i know, because KJoppo and JJoppo are the proof. The TRUE proof.

I was always there for her, always had her back, made her laugh when people talked bad about her. And what do i get? NOTHING BUT DISRESPECT!

it's over for our friendship. No buts, no whys, no "How could you?" and no tears.

I'm turning off my phone, If she calls, she'll leave a voicemail.